Monthly Archives: September 2013

Extraordinarily Ruthless Truthfulness

In my imagination, most people would say, ‘I’m easy to get along with.’  In my imagination, most people see themselves as reasonable. Have you ever had anyone say to you, “I’m a really difficult person to get along with”? I don’t think anyone sees them self that way, because from one’s own position, what one says makes sense.    (You know anyone like that?)

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?                                                                          Matthew 7:3

In hearing our own thinking, we require Extraordinarily Ruthless Truthfulness. I think there is a greater discrepancy than most of us acknowledge, in how we see ourselves versus how we’re seen by others, in how we see the creation and how it really is.

Goethe said, ” When pride and memory argue about what happened, pride always wins.

If so, we’re doing our calculations with numbers that are minimally imprecise, if not totally wrong. Reconciling the discrepancy, between the meaning we each make, and the descriptions of reality we each live to, could enhance our wisdom, power and effectiveness. Understanding the difference and making intelligent choices out of an accurate, empowering, effective understanding, that’s what I mean by extraordinary listening.

How do you create the power to choose an open attitude of learning over reacting defensively along the fear and aggression continuum?

Extraordinary listening implies in part, that we recognize the structures of our thinking exist. We listen for cultural paradigms, family of origin habits, personal experiences both traumatic and emphatic, that organize the meaning we make from incoming data.

That doesn’t mean that we are able to neutralize or be completely free of these influences. It is however a step in the right direction towards being able to receive data and assemble it in extraordinarily creative ways, rather than habitually thinking down the prejudicial valleys we’ve carved in our mind-scape.

Extraordinary Commerce: a Road to Peace?

In a ‘business as war’ view, we hear talk about hard and soft skills and the survival of the fittest. I know some people will balk at the thought; but if you’re willing, let me offer a mind experiment. What if we created commerce out of a ‘business as love ‘ view?

In a spirit of love we can challenge our assumptions. In a state of war we seemingly can only defend them.

Many do not know, we are in this world to live in harmony.

Those who know this
, do not fight against each other.

Those who do not know this, suffer.

            Gautama Buddha


Do we really know if the tribes that survived were the ones who lived as a bunch of individuals or those who cooperated with each other most effectively, whether for hunting or defense? What about the ones who extended those skills to include collaborating with other tribes? What does that say to us about developing teams, whether in sports or business, or societies through politics or education or art?

And what can we apply from that, when we design our style, or the spirit in which we interact as individuals? My guess is mostly, probably not much, only because we form attitudes and personality without thinking about it. Rarely do we calculate the biases of where we are coming from, the beliefs and assumptions we operate on. Since the views we hold are cultural or commonly shared we (learn to) see them as fact.

If we could see the reflection of our inner stance, on the outer manifestation of our life and all the systems we’ve designed, whether language, culture, business, art, education or politics; we could affect change at a meta-level.

It is my view, that in the world that is unfolding, conversely, instead of reacting on instinctual and habitual fight flight impulses, the arts of survival will be and are; communication, a willingness to develop understanding, the ability to develop sustainable relationships, intentionally and creatively meeting the needs of the coalition, including the needs and healthy development of the individuals that comprise society.

Success in business as in life pivots on perfecting the arts of understanding, working together, finding common goals. Much more than respecting differences, intentionally using the differences in perspective, to enhance a more comprehensive perception.

I my imagination, most people have more intelligence than they can access or are encouraged to contribute. You may have heard estimates that we use only a small portion, say 5% of our brains potential. To finish out the thought experiment, imagine designing our systems out of a ‘business as love’ scenario. What if everyone could contribute at their full potential, into a society that flows creatively with the changes of time, ‘loving’ change, rather than focusing our energy on resistance and opposition.

Even if you don’t believe it is possible imagine it for a minute when you’ve got nothing better to do. Instead of focusing your attention on how long the line is or how slow the traffic is, think about a world designed where, as when you love someone, ‘creating a beautiful word’ was the purpose.

“All that we are is a result of our thoughts.  It is made up of our thoughts.

What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday,

 and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow:

                                                             our life is the creation of our mind.”

The Gautama Buddha