In my imagination, most people would say, ‘I’m easy to get along with.’ In my imagination, most people see themselves as reasonable. Have you ever had anyone say to you, “I’m a really difficult person to get along with”? I don’t think anyone sees them self that way, because from one’s own position, what one says makes sense. (You know anyone like that?)
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Matthew 7:3
In hearing our own thinking, we require Extraordinarily Ruthless Truthfulness. I think there is a greater discrepancy than most of us acknowledge, in how we see ourselves versus how we’re seen by others, in how we see the creation and how it really is.
Goethe said, ” When pride and memory argue about what happened, pride always wins.
If so, we’re doing our calculations with numbers that are minimally imprecise, if not totally wrong. Reconciling the discrepancy, between the meaning we each make, and the descriptions of reality we each live to, could enhance our wisdom, power and effectiveness. Understanding the difference and making intelligent choices out of an accurate, empowering, effective understanding, that’s what I mean by extraordinary listening.
How do you create the power to choose an open attitude of learning over reacting defensively along the fear and aggression continuum?
Extraordinary listening implies in part, that we recognize the structures of our thinking exist. We listen for cultural paradigms, family of origin habits, personal experiences both traumatic and emphatic, that organize the meaning we make from incoming data.
That doesn’t mean that we are able to neutralize or be completely free of these influences. It is however a step in the right direction towards being able to receive data and assemble it in extraordinarily creative ways, rather than habitually thinking down the prejudicial valleys we’ve carved in our mind-scape.