It’s not only not what you say, or even not how you say it. It’s where you’re coming from!

After i posted , “No, really, let’s talk about it”, our friend Aimee from FL author of, Stress Less Achieve More sent me this. “I really liked your blog. Perhaps in the next installment you can talk about how you get from being afraid to speak up, to telling your truth. Just a thought (as you would say).” So here’s a thought.

One of the major sources of stress in our lives is incomplete communication. Very often, we have something on our minds that we’d like to say, but we don’t. We lock it up inside and withhold it. The result is, any time we do interact with a person from whom we’re withholding information, there’s always a holding mirrored in the body. Sometimes it is subtle, and we don’t notice it. Sometimes it’s intense and we can’t wait to get away, we think, from them. There are people that it is better to distance yourself from. More often, it’s not the distance that needs to change. It’s our attitude. It’s our communication, internal as well as external.

When you are in harmony with yourself, in a safe environment, you naturally express your being. When you are ‘out of sorts’, that expression colored by your inner tension, can be blocked or comes out under pressure making it hard to hear.

Think about anything that you have to say that hasn’t been said. First, check out, ‘where you’re coming from’. Once, or if, you notice your tension is adding to the problem, change your state. This is an invitation to take a minute, and however slightly, slow and deepen your breathing, finding a posture you like better, relax your muscles. If you do decide to finish an incomplete communication, do this first!

Then look again. In a better state, is there some way you could communicate what you have to say, finding a positive and encouraging and supportive way of transmitting this information? Is there a non-violent way to make this request, which means without making the other person “wrong”? Simply sharing what you see, and would like to see.